[angelkisses0102]

I am sorry you are struggling...attaching to a child is a two way street. I may have missed this...but how is his attachment to you? If he is struggling with attachment or has an actual attachment disorder...it will be very difficult for you to attach to him. I have a bunch of links I can PM you that pertain to attachment in infants and toddlers....including this that you can do that will help your bond to him grow.

That being said...I do understand your feelings and the guilt that comes along with them...the other posters gave you the exact links I would have (thanks guys...you beat me to it...but sick kid won out over forum last night )...read them and absorb them.

Sometimes love takes time to grow...find something...anything that you love about him...just one thing to start...maybe the color of his eyes, the way he giggles, any little thing and work from there. I will nevr forget one mom on another board said the only time she could find feelings for her daughter was when she looked at her sleeping.

I have been in your shoes...and I now love my son with my whole heart and soul...but it took lots of time and tons of attachment parenting....

I will send you those links right now. I also want you to know...there are many, many others here who struggle with these same issues...they just do not post in public about them. Trust me on this one...you are not alone in your feelings.

www.attach-china.org has great ideas...

Always feel free to come here and vent away...we do understand...