Welcome to the boards saspaul! I'm afraid your question will not get the attention it deserves here on the Catholic board (which is mainly frequented for questions about Baptisms, lol). Might I suggest cross-posting it in another forum as well, such as on the
Adoptee boards or the
Adoptive Parent boards (like the
Open Adoption board) or the
Search and Reunion boards?
My personal opinion is to take the cue from your daughter. Let her know that if and when she is ready, you could arrange contact. Not in a pressured way. I'm sure you know her well enough to elicit a genuine response. In the mean time, you could also maintain contact on her behalf. You could send emails with the birthfamily, letters, phone calls, pictures, etc. You don't have to decide between a "yes contact" or a "no contact" and nothing in between.
I don't have any advice about the counselors, but I am sure there are others floating around out there who do. Check out those boards I linked above and see if they help any.
Welcome, again!