Heather,
I just wanted to second what Heartened said, and I wanted to add that I have never met a functional family so don't be so hard on yourself about that. (OK, I think the only family I know that is funcitonal is my husband's family, and boy did he pick a whopper when he picked me and my family
) Congratulations on your 8 years sober. Waiting for more news, waiting to hear if your letter was received well is very hard I'm sure. I know this doesn't answer your question about how others have handled it, I wanted to you to know that someone else can sympathize with how vulnerable you feel.