dd will call her bparents "bema" and "beda". she could always call them "mom" or "dad" but I doubt she'll do that, mostly due to the way her bparents feel about those titles (not at all interested in being called mom or dad apparently).
just because dd has a bfather doesn't mean dh isn't dad or that I'm not mom because of her bmom. we all contribute different things to making her who she is. Imho, she has 4 sets of grandparents, none of whom fight over her. surely I could suck it up and share some aspects of the title "mom"
.
funny, but dd's birth really made me realize that I really wanted these people to be part of her life and part of our life. it was no longer about abstract hypotheticals and became very concrete. yes I'm her mom and I do all that stuff that moms do, but she also has a first mom. did I believe that before? No, but after having dd around a while, that's where I am now.
oh and I second reading melina's books. totally awesome.
__________________
-first time amom to dd, born 7/7/04
-placed in our arms by a very loving bmom 7/9/04
-bfather's rights terminated 9/7/04
-just connected with bdad!!! 2/9/05
-visited bfamilies for a week, awesome trip 6/05
-bfather signed legally binding open adoption
agreement 7/05
-finalized (woohoo!) 18th of November 2005
-Thinking about adoption #2!
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