I have an open adoption with my daughter's bmom. We live thousands of miles apart. But we do communicate by phone. We also send pictures, letter and cards (vice versa).
My daughter is now 15 months old. Dee (bmom) has slowed down the level of communication quite a bit. But she is in therapy now. She felt it was getting unhealthy for her to continue with the amount of contact we had (on her end). I am fine with this. I respect how she feels.
There are no set rules. I know where to find her. She knows where to find me. She has her life, as I do mine. Although she has stepped back tremendously, the door is always open for her to walk back in.
