First of all welcome
I have an open adoption with my daughter's birthmom. My daughter is only a baby right now. So there is really no communication between her & Dee (bmom).
Dee refers to herself as birthmom. So whenver she writes a card or sends a picture, she always signs it "Love your birth mom." She always underlines the word "birth".
I am Sarah's mommy. I am the one raising her since birth. But Dee was the one who gave birth to her. She will forever be her biological mother. So no matter how you slice it, my daughter has 2 mothers.
But she is not being raised by Dee. She is being raised by me...her mommy! Since Dee refers to herself as birthmom, I will continue to do so as well.