[blessedbybug]

This is from Bug's lifebook about that amazing day... we had no idea that our profile was out at that time. It was the 15th time we were shown and we had decided not to know each time it happened. She picked us on the Tuesday before, at the same time I was having a major meltdown thinking that we were NEVER going to become parents...

I was not an instant placement but things did happen very quickly. We got the call on Friday, met K on Tuesday and Bug surprised us by coming almost exactly 48hours later (it was supposed to be three more weeks). Bug was home with us a week to the hour from this phone call.

FRIDAY, February 27, 2004
The Call To Get Excited About…

You can be sitting on the couch, eating a snack, ready to watch yesterday’s tape of Oprah…and you get a phone call, one that might change your life forever. That is what happened to me, a few minutes to 3:00 on this amazing Friday. After a rollercoaster week filled with difficult discussions with a Social Worker from Alberta Children’s Services, long hard thinking (again!) about remaining a family of two (followed by me packing away all the baby clothes because I had lost my hope), and a wonderful day together in Red Deer watching championship curling (thanks to a Christmas gift from dear friends) a short sleep, another meeting with the Social worker just ending at two o’clock (and an approved homestudy I might add!!! Yay for us!!!) , well, we were tired, worn, ready to rest. Hubby went to the church for a while. I had the house to myself. Aahhh…bliss!

The phone rings… it’s our private agency. After almost 14 months of waiting and dozens of phone calls, I no longer got excited. Every time it was “not the call to get excited about”.

On the other end was M, a birthparent counselor and our Social Worker, B. I heard, “Tammy, this is M. Are you sitting down?” I started shaking… “Is this the call to get excited about?” “Yes!” was all I heard. Oh wow, I had to sit down... take a deep breath... Breathe Tammy Breathe. From then on, I was spellbound by all that M and B said. They were talking about the young woman who is considering us as adoptive parents to her child. An amazing moment for sure…

The social workers went on to talk about K, her home life, her family life, her job, her decision to pick us, how she liked us because we weren't trying to be perfect, that we had "stuff" in our lives she could relate to! She liked my smile... she liked that we were older and had experience in life. She liked we lived in the country and that we went to church, even though that wasn't a priority in her life.

“Would you like to meet?” said M. “Of course!” I said, without even thinking about consulting Hubby. My heart was pounding with excitement. We made plans to meet K on Tuesday. I was thrilled beyond belief, couldn’t believe this is happening, couldn’t wait to tell Hubby. I felt scared, but so hopeful and blessed to have the chance to meet this young woman. God answered our prayer… we would only be able to see later how He was in and through this…miracle.

Oh, and I did ask Hubby about all this, I promise!! He came home and we talked excitedly, decided to move forward with the meeting. We would meet K.

Our feelings were so mixed of course…in an email to a friend I wrote: “But even with the celebration, because of our infertility, we are keenly aware, although we'll never understand completely, of the grief of a mother who has to give up the dream of a child. That makes our hearts ache already for K, as she makes this most courageous and loving decision for her child. We know that the moment of her baby's birth (who we hope with all our heart will be our baby too!) will be bittersweet for sure as we all deal with the sadness I am sure she will feel when separating from her child.” With hope in our hearts, sadly knowing full well K's heart would be breaking, we moved forward…

That's it... still very vivid in my mind as was our first meeting with K, the experience in the hospital and bringing Bug home...


I hope it gives you hope Roxanne... and I hope your time comes VERY soon. BTW, I PM'd you with a question...