|
Yeah I agree you have to leave the decision up to him at this age, and if you dont, he will blame you guys for his discomfort.
I would honor your promise to her - maybe offer to go out for lunch with her, or bring her some recent pictures of your family or copies of his report card. If you have some video maybe you could put together a montage for her?
It is VERY hard though where she is obviously not respecting his or your boundaries. It sort of depends how you are feeling about things. I am a bit of an open adoption proponent, but I have BIG problems with a bparent just showing up and scaring a child agains their wishes, or without being granted permission from their parents. What she might not realize is that this could jeopardize any future relationship with him if he decides she's a "nut".
Jen
__________________
Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological)  Reunited Sister
Fostering Miss Tiny and Miss Curious - Two Months and 13 months when placed May, 2009
Blogging about reunion with our 14 year old, Not reuniting with our 13 year old, transracial parenting, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community. And oh yeah, now I have cancer.
'Oh, the audacity of authenticity. You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself. You're going to pray it ends, then pray it never ends.' -- Brené Brown |