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Well, I decided to jump into the fray with my take on adoption and loss. I am an adoptee and firmly believe that all adoption begins in loss. This is a fact, not a negative or positive, just a fact. However, millions of factors play into how your adoptive children process, handle and react to that loss.
My loss was compounded by growing up in the 70's when adoption was whispered and my parent NEVER spoke of it.
My loss was lessened in my 20's after reuniting with my birthfamily and witnessing first hand the disfunction that would have been my life had I never been placed for adoption.
I feel my adoptive parents are my first and only parents. My birthmom is just that, the woman who gave birth to me. My birthdad is a good friend who I speak with but he will never replace my first and only dad. Time can never be erased and you can never go back a recreate your family of origin once it has gone. I was raised Jewish only to find out that I am not just Jewish. Do I miss learning about Catholocism, maybe. However, I did learn to believe in God and that is the most important thing, isnt it?
Finally, my adoptive son who is biracial, will be raised by a single, white Jewish mom. Will have have to deal with tons of issues..yes. Will I be there every single step of the way...you bet. His birthmom picked me so I have to honor that and think she made the best choice.
Laurie
Adoptive mom to David 3 years on Sat.
"We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to leave the shore"
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