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It took me awhile to get past the idea of my parents getting to see my daughter and her family without me there. I'm just jealous, that's all. :-) I had to move away to finish school and everyone else is still in the same area, so they have visits without me regularly. I also don't think there's been a point when I haven't wanted to see my daughter, but there have been times when I would have rather not dealt with her parents or large extended family. I haven't, however, cancelled a visit because of that...just dealt with it. I mean, after all, how will you get beyond something if you just ignore it? These relationships take practice!
I also don't ask my daughter's parents for visits. I really don't. I think they would be offended if I asked to drop by or meet somewhere. I have gotten to the point of letting them know when I have a break and will be home for a weekend or holiday...just so they'll have the oppertunity to see me if they want. Usually we'll get together. When I am in town I'll call from time to time to check in (or they will) and we make it a point to see eachother every holiday, birthday, adoption day, and once or twice a month in general. Sometimes schedules work out, sometimes they don't. We may get together 3 weekends a month for different things and we might go 2 months before we're all free at the same time...but it works out. We're a family and it's treated as such. I do try and keep the APs happy by not demanding time with them and they try to make time for me anyway (cause we really do all love each other)!
It's a delicate balance and we've all had to learn where we belong and what our "behavioral rules" are towards each other. It's absolutely different from anything else, but it's worth it in the end! Every time my daughter comes running up to me with a huge kiss and a "big hug for Faith" I melt. I'd do anything for my daughter and hearing her whisper "Love you, Faith" as she gives me a bear hug is great!
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