[tryingtokeepangel]

I had posted a letter a few days ago and so did my husband and sister. We are greatful for the replies we have gotten. All we want is for people to hear what we are going though and maybe someone out there reading our story, will be able to tell us something we can try or do that we haven't done yet. This week has been very hard on me, all I want to do is cry because I am so scarded and afraid of just the thought of someone taking our baby (well not a baby almost 8yrs) from us. It seems like I can't do anything right, I just lost my grandma on the 4th and trying to deal with that and now having the thought of losing our first born daughter, I am a scared mother. I had to get money from my own mom to help pay for our lawyer, I am not use to needing help like that and it hurts me to think I had to take money from my mom and her family to help us fight for our little angel. I know thats what familys are for but for me its very hard my mom is trying to deal with her loss of her mother and then I have to tell her what we are going though, I don't mean to break down but I am doing that alot, I just don't know how much more I can take. I can't cry when our daughter is home so I stay strong(or try to be) she see me crying and she gets scared, and I don't want her to have to worry about this at her tender age of 7, all we want her to know is that we love her more then we can ever tell her,She is our first born. We just don't understand the court system or the "birthfather" in all this. And it breaks our hearts. When I read things my husband writes it touches every part of me. When we talk about this he hinds his true feelings from me and trys to be the strong one and tells me don't worry about it shes not going anywhere,God has a plan for her and that is staying with us, but then I read what he writes and I see that he is as scared, and hurting just as much as I am. I lean on my husband alot, he has been working long hours so that we can have the money we need to fight this, and that takes time away from where he would rather be and that is home with his family. I love my family more then I can show or tell them all, and I am so proud of them.