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Jody--thanks for what you wrote; it was very informative. I have so many books already but sometimes I get discouraged because they seem so negative about adoptees feelings. You know, making them sound as if they have deep mental issues. But I will keep looking and keep reading.
And yes, I probably talk him too death. My husband is totally different from my view point because he still feels very threatened by the even mention of adoption. I was the one that told my son when he was three and I told him about him being bi-racial and at least 3-4 times a year, I will bring up the topic to see if he has any feelings about anything. I usually get the same old reply: Nope...no questions.
Maybe I was wrong for telling him at such a young age, but I told my husband when we adopted my son that I always wanted him to know so he would not feel as if we kept secrets from him. Of course, my hubby was just as mortified when I told my son he was bi-racial. But that kind of speaks for itself...I mean...his skin...his hair...he had to know and I am not ashamed and I will not tolerate anyone around me being ashamed of his heritage.
Shef---we meet again! I love reading on this forum and advising when I can (I at least hope it helps). I feel I have learned so much in the last few months since I joined. Thank you for what you wrote...I do hope I am an open Mom and want him to talk with me about anything.
It's kind of funny because he talks with his Dad about sports and T.V. stuff like that...and they have an awesome relationship. However, he comes to me to talk about "real" things. I love it! So maybe with him not saying anything or asking questions is okay for now...maybe he truly doesn't have any questions at this time.
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