I agree with lillifelover. We believe too that our open adoption relations will be a normal part of our children's life. We have had visits as soon as possible & as many as possible. They will grow up knowing that this is how their family is. They won't be confused at all. I also agree that it takes time to develop trust & comfort in a relationship...ANY realtionship, not just in adoption. Extended family too needs to be comfortable. We feel that when we adopted our children, we just didn't adopt that child, we added a WHOLE FAMILY!
I LOVE how our relationships have developed with our children's birth families. I LOVE how when our 3 year old's BMom came to spend a few days with us a couple weeks ago, that she is so comfortable with us that she just goes about like she lives here! LOL I love when we were all laying in bed & she had her head on my tummy while I played with her hair..like she was my daughter. (She's a young girl). I LOVED when our daughter took her arms around both her Birth Mom & I in a HUGE HUG & said, "I LOVE MY MOMMYS!" It brought tears to my eyes knowing that she at 3 years old could feel that way! Then her Birth Mom & I both hugged & cried!
LOL
Sorry to ramble on! I agree that the sooner the better, for everyone involved.
Deb