|
I think that it depends on how the birthmother is adjusting. I'm an adoptive mother so coming from a different place here but do assume that a birthmother needs some time to appropriately deal with her initial grief/loss before visits begin but that would really depend on the individual birthmother. Our daughter is 2 months old and already had a couple of visits by both birthparents. It hasn't been easy emotionally because we aren't clear what she is feeling because I feel she's keeping a lot bottled up. We do love our birthmother and feel like she's a daughter but want to be sure she understands the spirit of open adoption. We are her parents, they are her birthparents. We won't allow our daughter to be confused and agree that the confusion lies mostly in the aparents and bioparents more than in the child who should be talked openly to about adoption right from the beginning. We have 3 others adopted and used car rides to say to our children "we're so glad we adopted you" so that adoption was an open term right from the beginning. They are each proud of their adoption stories and as time goes by and they are ready for more of their own personal story, we share it. I cannot say that open adoption is easy but I do believe in my heart that it is in the best interest of the adopted child. Thanks for letting me go on.
Josie
|