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I'm assuming you're adopting as a single person and have thought about what happens if he isn't sucked in.
that said, I know that dh had his doubts about being a dad at such an age. guys worry about things in different ways than women do. What made him comfortable was that we would make a committment to our retirement. we juggled the numbers and hope to make it work. Fortunately for dh, he has supportive coworkers who share "dad tips" which at times are scary and other times informative, lol. he may just be scared about the uncertainties of the adoption system, and that's reflected in his ambivalence. perhaps counseling?
maybe a discussion about finances and retirement is in order, and what having a child means to that. Or maybe he just needs to talk to other old guys about what it means to be a parent at 46. dh is having a blast, and we plan to adopt again. maybe he needs to meet another couple that's "old" and "new parents" lol.
good luck!
Lisa
__________________
-first time amom to dd, born 7/7/04
-placed in our arms by a very loving bmom 7/9/04
-bfather's rights terminated 9/7/04
-just connected with bdad!!! 2/9/05
-visited bfamilies for a week, awesome trip 6/05
-bfather signed legally binding open adoption
agreement 7/05
-finalized (woohoo!) 18th of November 2005
-Thinking about adoption #2!
[color=Purple] Support All Families. Advocate for the Return of the Non-Traditional Families Forum
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