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Originally Posted by BeckyS
The book is In Their Own Voices and the whole front end of the book provides information/outcome of various studies done in different years.
...I guess I don't see the point behind labeling myself as the 1st, last, or somewhere in betwen option for my kids. I am what I am & they got me....for better or worse.
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That is a great read, isn't it?? It's one of the first things I read at Barnes and Noble...
I don't typically label myself as the runner up either. In the back of my mind tho, I feel it, mostly b/c I know dd may feel that way someday - why weren't options a, b or c employed?? and I want to be emotionally prepared to address it. I do have answers for dd, but who knows whether they will ever be good enough.
As for seeking approval, I rarely do that here
. But as an adolescent, I wanted nothing more than to fit in with black people. I didn't, tho - at least, not initially b/c I was raised with a color-blind mentality. I had to work really hard to overcome my discomfort with being black after it became painfully obvious that no other culture was going to accept my confused butt either
. The experienced soured me - I admit that. I got to the point where it was like, OK, everyone else sees me as black (or their definition of black), might as well join the club so I can get some of the benefits along with the crappy consequences.
Fortunately, I had a whole family full of similarly confused people to turn to for support - and another whole family waiting to say I told you so, and both had their arms outstretched.