[sneezyone]

Originally Posted by Jensboys

Now I know this always gets other adoptive parents upset but ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL I think it is best for kids to stay in their family of origin if possible, to stay connected to their community of origin if possible, to retain their language of birth if possible, to retain their culture of birth if possible. BUT once I was chosen to be their mother - that was IT. They were my kids. Not all things were "equal" and we were (and ARE) the best available option for our boys. No, its not ideal, but not a whole lot about adoption is "ideal" all the time.

I couldn't agree more. The best option for dd would absolutely be for her to have been raised by her bmom. I think she'd have had an equally fantastic experience with her extended bfamily. H and I fall somewhere down the list, but we're still great parents. We love her, she loves us. This is the family we've got and that's OK.