Tracey, there have been studies done & a book with of interviews with the adult adoptees themselves. The book is In Their Own Voices and the whole front end of the book provides information/outcome of various studies done in different years.
I think it's a valuable read. The results from the provided studies are very encouraging and while all data collectors have their own agenda, these studies were not all from the same source.
I guess I don't see the point behind labeling myself as the 1st, last, or somewhere in betwen option for my kids.
I am what I am & they got me....for better or worse. I tend to be a realist with an optimistic side. Most of us have times in our lives where we think things would have been better 'IF ONLY'...if only I could've stayed with my bfamily, if only my parents understood me better, if only I grew up in a two parent home. The list goes on forever, the best we can do is try to understand, love & support our kids, educate ourselves on what we can do to help them to be happy adults - is that really all that different that what any parent should do?
One fault that seems to be represented overwhelmingly in adoptive parents (IMO) is that a lot of families seem to be constantly seeking approval of their own family. Approval of their adoptive status from mainstream America, approval from whatever 'insert race here' society, if their child happens to be of that race & the ap's are not. I get it, it's nice to be supported & have approval but should people really hold that prize so tight that it's going to affect their own & their family's self esteem & sense of family if they feel that it's threatened?
So, some people don't think you should be raising your kids....why do you give them more credibility than you give yourself for thinking you should? --- this is not directed at any posters on this thread....those people are simply wrong
