[redhedded]

Well, I am glad that I clarified, as I was more misunderstood than I thought. My comment was never about my ability and another family's inability to meet my child's needs; it was my way of saying, judge on merit, not make sweeping generalizations. Just because I am white does not make me less able to parent my child.

While general, I was actually thinking of a very good friend when I made that comment. His experience was one of being raised in his very southern religious household where compliance was more important than anything, including having a voice. He is intelligent, highly creative, loving, open, kind and sensitive and gay; his parents were inflexible, often disapproving of his free spirit, critical, often unaffectionate and uncommunicative. His childhood was so hard; he felt alone, alienated, insecure, unsupported then of course had to decide to sever his family ties because of the pain they caused him. So. . . I always, in the back of my mind, know that being with those who gave birth to you, being with those who "resemble" you does not guarantee that you do not feel deep and great loss.