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Well put, red! Sneezy.....you have expressed what I meant. (Though, perhaps it wasn't too clear.)
My point is that 'being Black' does not mean that one can do or be just 'those things'. I think it goes further than that. Just because a child can fit in certain environments, does not guarantee that s/he will be happy, content and successful in their life. I fully believe (as Crina and red do too) that 'race' is not the full scope. That 'looking like my parents' does not instantly make for a seamless transition into adulthood.
We've not 'been there, done that' with our AA babies; but we have BTDT with the other babies of color. Is being Asian, the same as being AA? No; and I'm not about to say it is....but some of the same people that have stereotyped my first two, will indeed, do the same with my youngest two. How these girls grow up, will more often than not, be determined with how well we establish pride and knowledge within them. And, most importantly, make them feel that we have been there/are there for them. Can we/will we be able to relate to everything they experience? No. But, there are many more things in life, and you cannot leave out the rest of the story (values, self-worth, etc)......and focus only on 'sameness of skin tone'.
My babies are Black American. Period. We are 'seemingly CC'. And, together, ...along with their Asian sister/brother and CC brothers, we are family. I don't think that's bad; and I think the OP who worried that she should not adopt children of color, should focus on how she intends to parent and love that child....more than simply thinking she is not the same color as s/he may be.
Sincerely,
Linny
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