Perhaps you should start with some theology at home. Once you renew your faith and focus on why you have that faith, you will be better able to be living it out in church and at home.
Can you find a group of like minded individuals online to support you in your faith journey? Better yet, a couple who can be a mentor to you and your spouse?
Also, perhaps you need to look outside your childhood religion and compare the different religions (since you are not feeling at ease about what the people in the church you were attending practiced compared to what they preached). I'm sure you have many preconceived notions about some of the major religions (Catholic, Pentecostal, Methodist, Episcopalian, etc, etc) that were greatly different from your own. By looking into why they believe what they do, you will help to build your faith--even if it is to strengthen the resolve you had in your younger years.
I am a person who believes that God is due all glory and honor and worship and as such that we have an obligation to do what we
can to not only live our faith and praise the Lord (through our words and deeds), but to actually offer Him our
worship in a community of believers. So from that perspective, I strongly encourage you to "fake it 'til you make it" (as is commonly said in the adoption world). After all, our emotions are great, but they are not the engine of the train. They are the caboose, helping us through the curves and up the hills, but just along for the ride most of the time. Even if we don't feel like it, God is still deserving of our worship. (Check out
this Campus Crusade for Christ page--esp. the cute little train.) He is not a vengeful God who will expect more than you are able to give--if you must work on Sunday to provide the necessities for your family, or if you are the caregiver of the infirmed and unable to attend, then this is quite different from having the time but deciding to use it in other ways instead of to worship the Lord.
As for hypocrisy, I really don't understand that as a reason to avoid church. Because someone else does something wrong, you are justified in doing so as well? If the ones who are doing things right won't go, then who will be left but the ones doing it wrong? Are you not a sinner also struggling with doing what is pleasing to the Lord? Is the church not the place sinners SHOULD be? Should there not be strong and holy men and women there to testify to the love of Christ to those who might not have come to live it or know it yet? The way I look at it is this: it must pain the Lord so very much to be mocked and ridiculed in His own house. I feel guilt and shame for my own sins, perhaps unknown to the general public but just as painful to the Lord, when I see others who do such things. I believe it is even more important to be strengthened in my faith and to the Lord in such trying times. After all, what others do or do not do has no bearing on who the Lord is or what He has done. And what He has done is deserving of our praise and worship. And if others are falling down in that department, it is ever more incumbent upon me to be a light of Christ.
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Originally Posted by Phil 2:12-15
12Wherefore, my dearly beloved, (as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but much more now in my absence,) with fear and trembling work out your salvation.
13For it is God who worketh in you, both to will and to accomplish, according to his good will.
14And do ye all things without murmurings and hesitations;
15That you may be blameless, and sincere children of God, without reproof, in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation; among whom you shine as lights in the world.
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Originally Posted by 2 Tim 2:10, 14-15, 19-22
10Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation, which is in Christ Jesus, with heavenly glory.
14Of these things put them in mind, charging them before the Lord. Contend not in words, for it is to no profit, but to the subverting of the hearers.
15Carefully study to present thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
19But the sure foundation of God standeth firm, having this seal:the Lord knoweth who are his; and let every one depart from iniquity who nameth the name of the Lord.
20But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and earth: and some indeed unto honour, but some unto dishonour.
21If any man therefore shall cleanse himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified and profitable to the Lord, prepared unto every good work.
22But flee thou youthful desires, and pursue justice, faith, charity, and peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
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