[ahimsa]

I can see both sides of this issue. Divame, I know that you mean well. There are many white parents who raise black children as though they were "white". You're right, those children are being done a disservice.

I also understand the caucasian mothers on here who are defending themselves against divame's comments, and I agree with what they have to say.

That being said...there is a point to be made. I am the white mother of two black children. Would things be better for them if I were black? Yes. Would they be better off with a black family that was equal to mine in every other way except for race? Yes. Were they better off with their black birthmother who used cocaine. No. Were they better off with the black fostermother that severely neglected my daughter. No. Were they better off with the black foster mother who loved them but didn't have time for them. No.

Yes...in an ideal world...if they could have everything that we have to offer, as well as us being black, that would be great. But that is not the reality. They don't live in an ideal world...far from it. At this point they need consistency, they need love, they need someone to help them repair the effect of the years of lost love and help them make sense of their lives. Right now, the people that can do that for them, are my husband and I...and we happen to be white. We will be unable to give them EVERYTHING they need...but then again...who could???