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Vicki,
I've pondered your post all day along with the responses that you've received so far. I honestly considered not posting my thoughts, but since you asked for input I'll throw out my .02's worth.
I would think that at this point in the process it would be the easiest to stop the adoption. Since FC, DNA are not done and you're not in PGN it shouldn't be that difficult. Hopefully, someone would accept the referral of a slightly older baby especially since it's a little girl.
With that said, are you really, really sure that you want to halt it? I don't know how well you've been keeping up with things in Guatemala, but it does seem like DNA auth and FC do seem to be taking a while. Does this mean that the rest of the case will proceed like this? Maybe, maybe not. The fact is that no one ever knows how long the process will take or how old the child will be when he/she comes home. FWIW, DNA was not done for either of my cases until 8-10 weeks after referral.
Even though you stated differently in your post, I think that you had some expectations about how old the baby would be at pick up and how long the process would take. Unfortunately, that's an easy thing to do but also a very bad thing to do to your emotional well-being. I also wonder why you opted to start such an emotional process when you've had recent emotional losses considering that you've adopted from Guatemala and know how emotionally trying that it can be. You've gotten some really great advice here and I hope that you take the time to read it. Perhaps if you take the time to step back and reexamine your expectations you may find that you're able to continue.
Your post didn't say whether you would consider accepting another referral, but I hope that you wouldn't right away until you've had some time to sort things out. Perhaps that would be best for all concerned since I wonder how difficult it would be for you to bond and attach with this child. Not to be cruel, but I just wonder if you're ready to proceed with any adoption.
If after careful consideration you decide that you can't continue, I wish you all the peace in the world with your decision. I also hope that the baby involved is able to find her forever family.
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TTFN~
Lori
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