No words of comfort.. just sending you HUGS. I do not know your story. It appears you already have one adopted DD and I do not know what the other emotional losses are... It breaks my heart at the sadness in your post.
I saw your comment that your heart longs to hold your child.... so it appears that you have invested your heart in the adoption of another child.
Maybe you need to step back and take care of yourself right now before you move forward in any way. Pray about your decision... Seek God's will for your life. No matter what road blocks you encounter God can give you peace to deal with it.
Get a pedicure, massage, have lunch with a friend... take a break from the drama so you can view it from a new perspective.
