[wvamom]

Vicki,

How well I remember the feeling that we would never get through the process--just putting together a dossier is a huge accomplishment. Then, when you get that sweet picture of that baby, it seems like you are almost there, already! And that you will have that child in your arms before you know it.

Then the reality of the process starts to sink in. And the many uncertainties, as well. It does take some emotional strength to keep going, even not knowing how long it might be until you are through (just look at the experiences of some of our forum friends to see).

And if delays come, it seems like forever. We brought our son home at 11 months--he was referred to us at 5 months--a relatively short process--and when we went for pickup, there was another couple there who was picking up a 21 month old--who had been referred to them at 2 days old. Their process was just that long--I couldn't really tell you why. They said that everything went wrong that could go wrong.

We became friends with that couple during that trip--now I get frequent updates from them on their daughter, and there could be no more doting parents than they. Although they were saddened and frustrated by how long the process took, and I'm sure by the milestones they may have missed, I don't think they thought their daughter was any less valuable for being almost two when they received her. They are loving parenting her--and she is a beautiful child, three years old now. Although they missed the first months, they get to have the next 50 years or so with her--and have a family legacy that will live on even after they're gone.

From what you are saying, I know it must seem impossible to you at this point that you would get to bring your child home in a short period. And, realistically, you may bring home a 6 month old, or a 12 month old, or older. I wish the process were faster, but...this is a foreign country, and we are subject to the way they do things.

I hope you can find it in yourself to stick out the wait--your forum friends are here to support you, to offer advice if you ask, to give you a shoulder to cry on, and, even better, to rejoice with you when that day comes that you bring your child home! The frustration will fade with time, but the blessings continue. The rewards are well worth the wait--I have heard that said by, I think, every adoptive parent on this forum who has already brought home a child.

Best wishes to you.
Carolyn