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I am sad reading your post for your fears and heartache. The things I am going to say are not meant to hurt you any further, but your post concerns me more than some who are just frustrated over waiting. Eight weeks is not unusual, no matter what some with shorter timelines will say. The things you are characterizing as going terribly wrong are not atypical in the Guatemalan process, even if things might be occuring which are indeed "wrong" as far as who is holding things up and for what reasons.

I think Holli is right in suggesting that you need to step back and consider some important things and have a good talk with your agency and/or social worker. What if this IS the only way to the child that is meant to be yours? Would you stop, knowing that one day this child could be yours "for keeps"? If you knew the joy this child (or any child) might one day bring to your family, would you not be willing to sacrifice whatever you could to bring her home? As a mother, I know this waiting is extremely difficult, yet what wouldn't we go through to have our child in our arms one day?

Sometimes, reading posts on these forums, I truly wonder what agencies are telling their clients? Guatemalan adoptions have always been frout with long waits. A lot of the issues people discuss on this forum are not new to this process, only frustrating to a new set of adoptive parents. Yes, some children come home at a fairly young age, but the norm for this process is a few months in each phase along the way. That might mean a child will come home sooner...or much later than hoped for. Agencies which paint this process as a quick way to build our families are not doing any of us any good, not being honest about some of the possible "snags" along the way due to cultural differences in work ethic, etc. To be honest, I get very frustrated and angry to think some agencies are giving the impression that the best adoption is all about very young infants.

As a mother who waited 14mo for our first 4yr old son to join our family in 1998, 14mos for our second 4yr old son in 2000, and well over two years for our 10yr old daughter (waiting for abandonment and going through Hague) last February, I am here to say as difficult as the journey can be, the final destination is so much more than worth it!

Only you can decide if it's a truly child you want one day in your family...or if mentally and emotionally you are focused on merely having the opportunity to parent a young infant. In the long run, they all grow up and become children and turn into teenagers and leave home. It is a joy and a challenge to parent them at each stage. As amazing as the infant stage is, children still need families when they are three, twelve, or eighteen. I guess you need to decide what it is you want down the road. If it's a child you want in your future, then I encourage you to hang in there. If it is just too difficult to wait and you can't picture yourself jumping into parenting this or any child at a later age and stage, then maybe international adoption isn't the answer for your family.

I think one thing that's important to think about when adopting is that it really isn't just about us having the opportunity to parent...but it's also about providing a loving family and safe home for a child who needs both.