Oh, by the way, I read on here about people ignoring advice from "outsiders" and that made sense. There was a point turing my pregnancy when I just had to stop taking advice from others that weren't involved. In reality, everyone in the world will have an opinion about how you should raise your daughter...but in all likelihood, you are one of the only people that has put some thought and research into it. You can't stop your family from making suggestions, but you can say that you know what's best for your husband and your child. You shouldn't listen to people off the street or at work, but instead look for advice from those who have experience. Pray, research and don't worry about what other people think--adoption can be a hot-button issue and people tend to write off birthparents all too easy.
) I'm a little biased, but so are my daughter's Adoptive Parents. They got to know me and their entire extended family has switched their positions on the issue because of that. We're a family now!
Oh, and about all the confusion issues...I believe that the adults involved in adoption are the only ones that really get confused--and when that happens it's usually our fault anyway.
)