[amyfk]

Hi to the List,

I want to know if others feel this way often. Before we signed up to adopt from Russia I went to several seminars from various adoption agencies that were visiting my area. from what I remember(though my dad who went with me remembered differently) it just seemed that you hand in your papers and BLAMMO! you fly to Moscow and pick up your kid.

I found the paperwork portion of the adoption to be frustrating and stressful at times, but It wasnt too horrible. I did a lot of papers in college, and as a person I am organized(perhaps too organized), so although Russia has recently added new paperwork, I felt I had some control to the process.

We handed in our dossier in late January. We were rising to the top of the list for a baby girl since the following summer. Our agency had started a pilot Armenia program and we were a guinea pig pilot family. While we were put on the Armenia list, we were also put on the Russia wait list. By the time our papers were in at the end of January, we were already near the top of the referral list.

Lo and behold, as some of you know, we turned down our first two referrals due to the fact that we felt that the children had medical issues that were too difficult for us PERSONALLY to handle. I never realized how emotionally tearing it could be to turn down a referral.

The more I realize it, the more I realize that lack of control in the adoption -waiting process. I just assumed that we would hand in our papers and get a referral immediately. I thought that if we turned down a referral, we would be provided with a second one immediately and so on and so forth.

We are now adding an addendum to our homestudy so that we will consider a slightly older child than 12 mo. If a few more referrals go by and we're not comfortable, then maybe we will accept a boy(we wanted a girl originally). I have no clue as to the age of the child, the health of the child, the region of the child, and when we're getting the next referral.

I'm taking it one day at a time(though its not the easiest).

Can anyone else relate to how i'm feeling out there?

Thanks,
Amy K, NJ