Mrs D-
What happened???
When I first posted on this thread you seemed eager to learn about others' experiences and receptive to everyone's ideas, even if you weren't sure you agreed.
Suddenly, your last few posts have seemed accusatory, angry, and well, a little hostile toward birthmoms in general.
When I made suggestions, it was to urge you to be honest about what you wanted and could handle. I don't see anything I or any other bmom posted here as
pushing you toward a fully open adoption. Goodness, I even
encouraged you to SAY you wanted fully closed if that's what you felt you could accept. And I'm a HUGE open adoption advocate!
We're listening to you. We're listening to any other adoptive parent (or birth parent) who says they can't handle open adoption, too. But to suggest that because you've heard from several people who are NOT happy with how their open adoptions have worked out means that anyone who says theirs IS working out OK is being deceptive or
pushy is a little over the top to me.
You've heard from adoptees, other adoptive parents, and birthparents here. Not just birthmoms. I'm sorry you feel that no one is listening to you, but being angry and defensive isn't helping anyone here. I hope you'll change your mind and come back once you've had a chance to think this over some more. There are a lot of folks with a lot of wisdom here to share.