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I am so sorry for your situation. No questions asked honestly are bad or selfish. If you really think that having this child will harm your family, and if you have kids of your own, protecting your childrens home and keeping it intact is more important then anything else.
I have said for the last 2 years of doing foster care that if it ever started hurting MY kids, I would stop.
Your own children(if you have any) are the most important ppl in your life.
My advise is the same as you have already read, talk to your sw, maybe a counsler before you finalize anything.
good luck, and I will pray for you, your marrage and that God helps you solve this problem.
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