[MrsD820]

The problem I'm seeing is there is this implication that my son or daughter will be lost without his or her birthmother and that they will be searching always.

I know one adult adoptee that wishes she'd never been reunited, her mother looked for her, not the other way around and her bmom is not a comfort to her. I know two adult adoptees that have flat out told me that are grateful to their bmoms for giving them a better life but have absolutely no desire to find their birthmothers.

I just feel like some of the bmoms here and the amoms who are in open adoptions are guilting people into something they might not be comfortable with. Its not always a happy situation as I've read on other boards.

When I posted the question, I wasn't looking for bmoms advice, I was looking for adoptive parents and adult adoptees. Of course the Bmoms are going to advocate open adoption. I knew that. I'm looking for real world advice from amommies on both sides, pro and con.....I'm not getting a real view of the con.

Everyone says read more, learn more....like that is going to suddenly change my mind and make me feel better about the inevitable I have to have an open adoption.