This was the advise I would have given but Ellie said it so much better than I:
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This time is SO hard on you as the hopeful adoptive parents. Try to be there for one another. Lean on anyone who can be supportive to you and try your very best to give the expectant mom time and space. She knows you care. She'll be in touch when/if she's able and ready...
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Ellie also perfectly explained why we, as prospective adoptive parents, in a "match" with an expectant mother who pauses or stops contact, want to contact: to express our concern and let them know that whatever they decide and whatever time they need, we are there. I have been exactly in that place where you sit and where she sat. And like her, I realized that the expectant mother knew exactly how we felt, that she could talk to us, that we were there. She needed time, space, alone or with those whom she loved and trusted, to process, to consider her options, to consider her feelings and thoughts.
Papa, It is so hard. She still has quite a way to go, and I suspect she will vacillate often and reconsider often, as she should. There is nothing that anyone can say to make you feel better. Just know that many of us have been there. Sometimes the outcome was becoming parents; sometimes it was not in that situation, but moving forward and continuing our journey.
Wishing you peace and patience. Find support where you can, stay busy and do all of the things that you love to do, that make you smile.