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Gmom - I think that sort of relationship IS possible but its something that develops, not due to a demand. I think it would be very difficult for an adoptive family to function AS a family if it was scheduled in that every thursday there was a bparent visit for x number of hours for the next 18 years. HOWEVER, ideally, those sorts of relationships can and do develop (maybe not once a week, every week, but certainly a comfortable level of spontanaity) over time. Most openness agreements are for the MINIMUM (eg 6 visits a year) but if they are adhered to in the SPIRIT of openness, often develop into something more. But if either party go into the relationship demanding more (or agreeing to something they arent comfortable with), someone is bound to be hurt and disappointed.
Jen
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Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological)  Reunited Sister
Fostering Miss Tiny and Miss Curious - Two Months and 13 months when placed May, 2009
Blogging about reunion with our 14 year old, Not reuniting with our 13 year old, transracial parenting, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community. And oh yeah, now I have cancer.
'Oh, the audacity of authenticity. You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself. You're going to pray it ends, then pray it never ends.' -- Brené Brown |