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J,
My heart goes out to you! I wish there was something I could say that would make it make sense, but there isn't! The system just stinks sometimes and there's no way around it.
If birth father jumps through all the hoops, he will most likely get him back, but that doesn't mean he will continue to live the "jumping through the hoops" lifestyle! Your boys may not stay "home" that long. They could be back in care before long. Just make sure you express to their worker that you would like them to be returned to you if they should come back into care.
Sometimes, the best we can do is try to keep in good standing with birth family so that if they get in a tight spot, they will know they can turn to us to help keep their kids safe and loved. When my now 9 year old son was 4 he was returned to his birth mom. (He'd been with us since 6 weeks.) His mom and I had a good relationship and a few months after he returned home, she couldn't make it work and she called me and asked if he could come back.
So, you never know. Just express to the birth father that you are there for him and for the kids if he needs you. Even if the kids don't come back to you, this dad could surely use a role model and friend like you! For the sake of your boys...
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