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Originally Posted by MrsD820
I just don't know. I'm terrified we won't get picked. LDSFS has the birthmothers choose us. I feel like I'm on Survivor and its not the last one that wins.
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Although it's
totally normal to feel that way, please know that there are many different kinds of expectant moms/dads out there considering adoption. Some want totally open, but some do not. Some pbmoms/pbdads ask the agency to choose a family. Some choose the family themselves, but do not want to meet or have contact afterward. Some want just pictures and letters for a short time. So agreeing to more openness than you're 100% prepared to honor for a lifetime because your worker says "it's the thing" is not necessarily going to make your placement happen faster, and it's just not fair to either the pbparents looking at your profile OR to yourselves.
My DH and I were approved and waiting to adopt last year (right before we got pg), and out of our class of 17 couples, every single family (except us, due to our agency's policy and our personal choice) had a child placed with them within 10 months. I'd say about 40-50% of those placements are either fully closed or have a semi-open arrangement.
Personally, I hope you'll give yourselves that chance I mentioned earlier, to explore open adoption, and take some time to think it over carefully before you say yes or no. Yes, it can be scary at first. Yes, it might force you outside of your comfort level at first. Like any new relationship, though, an open adoption doesn't have to mean (and in my opinion shouldn't mean) "instant best friends". It's work, and it can be difficult, like all relationships can. But, I know in my case, and in the case of many other families here, its rewards have also been great, especially for the children involved.
Again, good luck as you begin your journey.
