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I did not read PW, but I have read some articles that talked about the theories behind the book. I felt scared to death afterwards too. It made me feel like my own experiences with adoption must have been some aberration. I now trust my own experience much more and its not that I think that some of the experiences decribed in PW don't happen, I just don't think we need to expect that it will be our experience.
There are so many adopted family members in my family ( sister, cousins, neices, nephews, etc.) and so many types of adoptions ( inter-family, domestic, international, foster-care) that I feel like we could conduct our own study on the effects on adoption. Our family is really really normal. There has been no emotional drama over any of the adoptions in the family ( half are now grown and half are kids---the next generation). There have been 2 reunions with bfamilies (completely supported and in one case instigated by the immediate afamily). There has been some disappointment in one case over the reunion. The other case is too early to tell. There is no confusion over "choosing" between the bfamily and afamily. We are the family---period. None of the adopted adults or children feel differently. We are also not a shy family--so we discuss our feelings openly. Of course there are questions around adoption etc, but just the ones you would expect. No drama. Of course the media will have no interest in our story, because there is nothing to sensationalize.
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