[mamacrina]

Sure it is. Originally, dh and I were terrified by the idea. Someone looking over your shoulder critiquing the way you are parenting their child? What if she wants her back? Wouldn't it make her regret her decision more? Would she feel like our child if the bmom was always in the picture? But with researching open, semi-open, and closed adoptions, reading books, visiting the birthparent, adoptive parent, and adoptee boards we found out those are myths.

I am now an adoptive mom. We have a fully open adoption meaning (for us) we've been to bmom's house(she is invited to ours), met dd's bfamily, we email back and forth, phone calls, send letters/packages, videos, pics, and we will visit in person again later this year. I worry about her, and she worries about us. Does it take work? Yep. Are we co-parenting? No. Dh and I make the decisions for dd. And when we adopt again, we are hoping to find an open/semi-open relationship.

Does it make you a bad person to want to chose another type of relationship? No! Many on this board have success with semi or closed. The best thing you can do is to be honest with yourself and the bparents, as the above posters mention. This type of adoption is not the end all be all for everyone.