[BrandyHagz]

I’ve seen a lot of posts over the years made by adoptive parents that in some way suggest that the birth parent doesn’t really seem to care about the child because they never ask about the child.

I’ve often wondered how they came to that conclusion – were there other actions that indicated that they didn’t care about the child…or is it just the appearance of the lack of interest when phoning?

I dunno, maybe I look at it differently – in my opinion, it’s the ultimate act of flattery when a birth parent isn’t constantly asking about the child – it means he or she is secure in your parenting abilities and he or she is looking to build a relationship beyond what brought the relationship together.

I know, in my case (and maybe my case is different) I don’t ask about M every time we talk – and I certainly hope she doesn’t think I don’t care (I know she doesn’t think that, I’m just talking here) because I’d be really hurt if my comfort level caused her to think I was some kind of uncaring person.

Sure, I care about M…a lot…but I don’t feel the need to ask about her every time we talk – but then again, we have a totally different relationship than what appears to be the norm for the members here.

So, if I can ask those who seem to be offended by the lack of questions regarding the child – why do you feel upset or hurt over that?