Having had two failed matches already, it's something that has entered my brain often. The first match, we weren't close, it failed very early on and so, we didn't keep in touch. The second failed match
NO way. The circumstances were horrid and the mother of that child put her child in harm's way and I will never forgive her for what she did to that child and could never have a relationships with her.
With this match, I don't know what I would be able to handle.
Firstly it is far more open and far closer than I ever thought I could get with a birth family.
I really like them (potential birth mom and birth dad) I care about them and my dh and I think of them as friends. We love their two children and got very close to them during our visit.
Having said that, if this match would fail, I don't know if I could be close to them anymore. They call me this baby's mom, pbmom gave me a mom necklace charm. They call the baby by the name we chose and everytime I have said things like, "
if you change your mind and decide to parent, we will understand and respect your decision", she just tells me that they will not change their minds and that this is our child and to quit saying things like that!
So if the match does fail, I think I would be so wrecked I wouldn't want to have a relationship with anyone for awhile. I also think the birth family would feel uncomfortable with us.
Sorry to ramble, it's just been one of those weekends when I worried about everything regarding this adoption! Now I see this post and flood my feelings out to you all.
