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My grandmother was adopted and she rejoiced in finding her biological siblings and being visited by her neices and nephews who were her biological relatives. She also cherished her parents who adopted and raised her.
If she hadnt been adopted she would have been left to die because in those days infanticide was common (and kept a secret) and her mother did not want to raise her, period, point blank.
One thing I have an issue with on the Primal Wound theory is the notion that a human being is emotionally fragile when being raised by someone who is not the biological mother.
My grandmother loved her adoptive parents and said she was raised with a lot of love.
Keep reading more books.
Children need parents...whether its their biological parents or adoptive parents. I do not feel that foster care is ideal for children....its an option when the biological parents cannot raise their children and many times parents lose their parenting rights and their child becomes available for adoption.
I think that when a person has pain surrounding their adoption, the culprit is how they were raised to view adoption...was it kept a secret? were they the product of un-ethical adoption practices that happenede 15 years ago? were they treated right by their adoptive parents?
If I was unhappy in my adoption, I would look to my birth parents to be the "perfect" parents I never had when my adoption experience was painful...and try to reconcile the pain with the belief that my separation from my birth parents caused my pain.
This is no different than how children with absent parents romanticize the parent thats missing. It is a coping mechanism...and I wonder if this coping mechanism occurs when the adoption isnt a happy one for the child...i.e. abuse, secrecy etcetera...
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