Okay ladies, i need some help. I bought some reading (hope they are good books) this weekend and have started reading "The Primal Wound". I am scared out of my mind right now.
I KNOW the author is just wanting to educate us but I feel soooo guilty now for wanting to adopt. I don't want to be responsible for my child being hurt and dysfunctional for the rest of his life. i KNOW that the author is trying to help us, but I am scared right now. Would it be better if I did IVF and just tried for a child biologically to prevent these him/her from such pain??? Is it selfish of me to adopt from an agency and not foster care?? Are all of us adoptive parents selfish??
Thank God i also bought "20 Things Adoptive Children wish thier Adoptive parents Knew". At least this way I feel like they are giving some kind of answers to prevent the dysfunction. I mean, I never knew adopting meant my child would forever have a deep deep pain, attachment issues, and resentful toward us. I mean I knew it could happen and probally WILL but I also thought there were things I could do to help this when it does. I know and realize that raising adoptive children IS different than biological and we WILL have to work at bonding, but OMG Primal Wound has me just thinking maybe I should quit adoption and do IVF or embryo adoption so my child won't hate me!!
Sorry this sounds nuts, I know this book is meant to educate......did anyone else feel this way reading it? Like there is NO hope? Is there any other books that you would suggest to help me create a trusting relationship between myself and my potential adoptive child starting from birth? Any books that tell us how we should go about creating that trust?
Thanks for your help!!
Natalie