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Originally Posted by lisa in venice
I suspect it is because of the crappy job some international agencies do of educating, preparing and supporting their families pre and post placement. We were in an adoptive parent support group for folks who had adopted from fostercare and the agency openned the group up to international adoptive families because the director was seeing so many diruptions. The stories we heard from these families were all the same. The were all told tat kids who come from orphanages are grateful, and don't have ANY of the issues of kids adopted from fostercare. NOT!! they had ALL of the same issues+a language barrier+a cultural adjustment+ the agencies offered no follow up care+these folks were financially depleted. In every case in our group (six families) they were not prepared and when the ****te hit fan the agency was no where to be seen. Now these were all older chidlren adoption not infants.
lisa
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I think it depends on the international agency you use. Our agency does
many orphanage adoptions of older children from Guatemala. They are very upfront with the families, encourage visiting during the process, require pre- and post-placement visits and counseling.
We adopted infants from Guatemala. We are fortunate that we have been able to stay in contact with their fosterparents. I email with my son's foster mother at least once a week. It made the transition much easier, as he came home at 10.5 months -- being able to ask the fostermother about his eating habits, sleeping habits, etc., was really helpful to me as a first-time parent.
I think this thread highlights how important it is to reseach international agencies. Some agencies are much more familiar with orphanage issues and older child adoptions... these agencies are more informed and that allows them to educate aparents in what to expect... and to form realistic, child-centered goals for their initial time together as a family.