[LisaCA]

ugh. we have this problem around my inlaws (I've spoken of them often, lol). I've put my foot down about what fil is allowed to say in front of dd. Amazing what his other son lets him say in front of his son, but I guess that's his problem. anyway, I call him on it when he says ignorant stuff and will continue to. Horrible to say but fil is in his late 70s and can't last forever. Of course he'll be around to do some damage I suspect. He likes to put people down about any number of things including weight, gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. I won't have that in my house and i call him on it in his house (not that we'll be there much in the future).

you can try and educate, but then again, once your child is old enough to understand, the damage is done. I think they learn something from you when you stand up to folks and say "that comment is the most ignorant thing I've heard all week". They learn to stand up to people rather than go along to not make waves.

I know folks in the border areas feel it's their god-given right to make comments about mexicans (ironic given these lands were once mexico's). I grew up in San diego and live now in Los angeles. we have the same ignorant comments here, by people who just lump all latinos into one category "mexicans". What you don't want is your brotherinlaw making an "exception" out of your child. that stinks too. If he can't change, then limit the exposure, pointing out why. maybe once he has a name and face to the pain he's causing he might change. maybe having your spouse do the confronting might make it go down easier?