this is a very individual thing, dependent on the folks involved. hypothetically, if dd's bmom had decided to parent, I would like to think that we'd still be friends with her bfamily. our match was short, but we're all a lot alike and really hit it off. That said, if they weren't interested in maintaining a friendship I'd totally understand. I mean, every time they saw us we'd be a reminder of what they were considering, and that may be tough for them. I'd probably send gifts for her birth, and maybe her first bday either way  .
a friendship should be just that and not coercive. situations change and they may be in a different place.
__________________
-first time amom to dd, born 7/7/04
-placed in our arms by a very loving bmom 7/9/04
-bfather's rights terminated 9/7/04
-just connected with bdad!!! 2/9/05
-visited bfamilies for a week, awesome trip 6/05
-bfather signed legally binding open adoption
agreement 7/05
-finalized (woohoo!) 18th of November 2005
-Thinking about adoption #2!
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