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Originally Posted by Shoshana
By the time of adolescence, the feelings of luckiness or happiness or pride at one's adoptive status are sometimes replaced by a sense of unfairness. Why me? -- Not "it's unfair that I was rescued from a life of XY&Z" but "why wasn't I born into the happy, healthy, secure, and loving family like (apparently) all of the other kids" (and yes, why did I have to be adopted -- note that this does not mean the child's adoptive home is unloving or unhappy!)
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My daughter has all those mixed emotions. I bought her a workbook for abused children, and one of the pages has a self-test about feelings. She circled that she was 'sometimes' afraid, 'often' angry, and 'always' happy. Even way back a couple years ago when she was still pretty new as a foster child, she wanted to be back with her bparents, but she also wanted me to come back with her and live with them and take care of her. I've noticed that a lot of the children's books about adoption emphasize that it is okay to have all the different feelings.