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Originally Posted by doris912
The way the board reads it's too simplified and it doesn't work that way in many cases. My worries would be that if the child gets to an age where he/she doesn't like something the aparent says, he/she might say I want to go to my bmom.
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Certainly it is not an easy relationship, but what close relationship is? And the child very well may say "I want to go live with my real mom." How is that any different than what a lot of kids in closed adoptions who say "You're not me real mother!"? (BTW, I have never heard of a kid in a fully open adoption ever saying the latter. In large part, I think, because they know their birthparents would not agree and support the adoptive parents.)
If there are boundary issues, you address them.
As I said, all relationships are complicated. The bottom line is, are they worth it? I think they are.