Hi Kellygirl -
An open adoption can be a wonderful experience. We have a very open adoption with all members of our son's birth family. We regularly see his birthmom and birthdad, as well as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins -- the whole works. We consider each other a large, extended family. In fact, my son, his birthmom, and I all hung out last weekend without the adult boys, just because we like each other. I wouldn't have it any other way.
That said, I think it's important to know that it can be work, as well. There are others here on the boards who also have great open family relationships, but that doesn't take away the pain that can be felt by any member of the triad. I don't want to bring you down
, but I think some of the other moms (both a-moms and b-moms) here will tell you that sometimes it feels like work to maintain the relationship, but they do, for the sake of the children.
We haven't experienced any downturns, but we all know it might be out there, so we work to ensure that we all feel comfortable communicating about whatever is on our minds. I think that's the key -- make sure that any a-parents you pick are not just willing to have an open adoption -- they INSIST on an open adoption, and then keep talking to the point that you know and trust them as the family they will eventually become.
Good luck!