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When I was in the same situation, I became upset and stopped taking anything. Upon pick-up, dd's diaper was soooooooooo full it was like she had been dipped in a swimming pool. I couldn't even hold her she was dripping so much. Not even so much as an apology from bd, either.
And then I changed the diaper and saw the terrible diaper rash beneath.
After that, I decided to send whatever she needed. I convinced myself that she would have needed it had she been home and I didn't want her to suffer, but it still angered me that a fully grown adult couldn't pick up some diapers for his own child.
When she got older, I started sending food and found out that bd was eating it. So I had to load dd up right before the visit and have snacks available for right after.
So maddening to deal with it. And worse when the system overlooks the fact that they refuse to meet their childrens' most basic needs.
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