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Wanted to add something personal. I think that sometimes a child or adult's feeling of loss (I always think of Elizabeth's posts on identity confusion) is mistaken for anger, regret. I know, very personally, that this is not the case. My husband came here with his mother after the Vietnam War, at the age of four. His biological father is Thai. Dh was raised with his mother and step, later adoptive, father. He loves his parents, is appreciative of his life, is who he is because of his experiences, is full and happy but lost a lot. He lost his "culture" (though it was still alive in his home), he lost the ability to easily communicate in Thai, which is really emotionally hard when you return to your homeland. He lost his mother's family, all of them, with whom he was extremely close. It does not mean that he is unhappy or that his family was not wonderful; he feels extremely blessed, but it is important to recognize and validate what was lost.