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K, I think for every several wonderful and happy international adoptees you can find one that is extremely dissatisfied. A quick perusing on the internet you will find probably hundreds of Korean and Vietnamese adults adopted thirty years ago who are extremely unhappy, believing that they not only lost their first families but also their language, "culture" and religion. I have a friend to whom this happened; as an adult she changed her name and has made contact with her Korean family. It is the result of adoptive parents who did not treat her like she deserved.

Of course, there are just as many happy well adjusted adoptees of 1970's international adoptions. I think much of the key is whether the parents, like any parent, loved their child unconditionally and did not act as though they did them a big favor. Watch Daughter of Danang; you will see that sometimes parents constantly reenforce the idea that they gave their child everything, that they did them a favor, that they saved them rather than recognizing the things that they lost. I think many act as though their children owe them, which by the way, happens all of the time in biological families. Secondly, I think those, especially with the awareness and huge effort that people make today, who share their child's heritage and history with them, who celebrate their culture and value and expose the beauty of that culture are not likely to have these issues.

Like anything I always believe that a child's emotional/spiritual health is only as great as the adults who influence, love and comfort him. As adults people can create their emotional health sometimes by overcoming trials and difficulties and finding strength, comfort and confidence that they never knew that they had.

Anytime we evaluate another's writing, words, experience we have to do just that, remember that it is personal, their reality, their experience, their journey and that is not reflective of others or to be presumed about others.